New Song: Farmer Joe's
Time for some holiday schtick. Early, for your convenience!
A while back, Ben and I, inspired by other monster-themed novelty tunes of yore, set out to write a great Halloween song. Perhaps THE great Halloween song. One that had it all: life, death, magic, and mystery. But first, we needed a monster. It's sort of required for the genre. So, we sat and thought, and sat and thought, and emailed back and forth. And what did we come up with?
I'll tell you what we came up with: a big pumpkin. A really big pumpkin. That eats people. And likes it.
Ahem. Quake in your sheets, Burt Bacharach, we're breathin' down your neck.
May I present, in recorded form for the first time EVAR:
words and music (c) 2008 Mark Frey and Ben Collins-Sussman
On a Halloween night much like this, many moons ago
a grumpy guy who raised great gourds was known as Farmer Joe
the farmer hated children and hated Halloween
to scare away the village kids he hatched a wicked scheme
The greatest gourd he ever grew was larger than a barrel
the farmer used that pumpkin huge but knew not of his peril
with his knife he cut all night, and wrought a gruesome face--
giant fangs and burning eyes, of kindness not a trace
It was Farmer Joe's Big-Ass Monster Pumpkin
mean product of a grouchy hand
but you know how this kind of story goes
Farmer Joe got more than he planned
The fearful sculpture done, evil visage thus bestowed,
Farmer Joe picked up a hat which blew in off the road
but there must have been some voodoo in that greasy cap he found
For when he dressed the Jack-O-Lantern it devoured him with a bound!
The pumpkin growled, licked his lips, and cackled with delight
With bloody maw and endless hunger he vanished in the night
now trick-or-treaters everywhere are shaking in their shoes
for if you meet this hollow beast, your life you're gonna lose
He's Farmer Joe's Big-Ass Monster Pumpkin
Always lookin' for someone to eat
On Halloween, watch out at every porch,
or you'll be the next yummy treat!
As porches proudly put their mangled pumpkins on display
He's lurking, camouflaged, for tasty costumed prey
The plump kids dressed as farmers are his very favorite kind
and when noone's looking out, he rolls and grabs them from behind
He's Farmer Joe's Big-Ass Monster Pumpkin
gettin' high on candied meat
On Halloween, watch out at every porch,
or you'll become a yummy treat!
a grumpy guy who raised great gourds was known as Farmer Joe
the farmer hated children and hated Halloween
to scare away the village kids he hatched a wicked scheme
The greatest gourd he ever grew was larger than a barrel
the farmer used that pumpkin huge but knew not of his peril
with his knife he cut all night, and wrought a gruesome face--
giant fangs and burning eyes, of kindness not a trace
It was Farmer Joe's Big-Ass Monster Pumpkin
mean product of a grouchy hand
but you know how this kind of story goes
Farmer Joe got more than he planned
The fearful sculpture done, evil visage thus bestowed,
Farmer Joe picked up a hat which blew in off the road
but there must have been some voodoo in that greasy cap he found
For when he dressed the Jack-O-Lantern it devoured him with a bound!
The pumpkin growled, licked his lips, and cackled with delight
With bloody maw and endless hunger he vanished in the night
now trick-or-treaters everywhere are shaking in their shoes
for if you meet this hollow beast, your life you're gonna lose
He's Farmer Joe's Big-Ass Monster Pumpkin
Always lookin' for someone to eat
On Halloween, watch out at every porch,
or you'll be the next yummy treat!
As porches proudly put their mangled pumpkins on display
He's lurking, camouflaged, for tasty costumed prey
The plump kids dressed as farmers are his very favorite kind
and when noone's looking out, he rolls and grabs them from behind
He's Farmer Joe's Big-Ass Monster Pumpkin
gettin' high on candied meat
On Halloween, watch out at every porch,
or you'll become a yummy treat!